K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
