How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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