I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
50% drunk capacity currently
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
