He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
