Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
