Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
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