Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Houston, we have a blender
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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