one word: firstdatebathroomanal
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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