i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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