I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
only you would photoshop your dick
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Is Oprah even human
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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