Dual....:-)
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I believe in your delicious
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
