well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
