Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
