I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
