Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
