I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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