he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
