If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
