Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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