Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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