oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
