My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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