youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
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