I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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