PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
