doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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