what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
