I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I looked at my own cervix.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
