He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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