Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
