And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
