Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
