My hand turned me down
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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