I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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