Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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