: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
