so that wasnt chicken after all
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
