he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
high people should be assigned attendants
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
