i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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