If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
