She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
