If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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