There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Randomize
