break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
