So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
