I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
