I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
