lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
