Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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