Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
